Well, it's 6 in the morning and all I have to say is...wait, there really is no word cuz my brain has suddenly turned into a pile of shit. It's that time of the quarter again where I "get" to do my favorite thing, which is working, except instead of a normal time of day it's 3am-7:30am. I would allude that to something like double penetration, and I mean that bad, raunchy kind like in those amature videos where the girl pretends to like getting her insides mixed up.

It's been such a long time since I've actually fully put some effort into writing in here. After awhile there gets a point where you just can't keep on writing how boring things are or how lame they are, even if they really are boring and lame. Just because I haven't written in here doesn't mean there hasn't been a lack of action in my life within the past few months. I won't recount every aching detail, but pretty much whatever's happened I could say has definitely turned my life 180. I'd have to produce my own soap opera mini series to capture the details of this past month. But in the end, all I can say is it was all worth it and it still is. It has gone by so fast that sometimes I look back and wonder if someone just stuck those memories into my brain with some crude meat injector from our kitchen drawer.

It's kind of crazy/scary because I suddenly realize that my college career is pretty much almost over. I have 4 quarters to go, only 3 of which will be in UCI and Spring quarter's coming up quick. I'm happy that I am going to England in the summer and Washington DC in the fall, but at the same time extremely anxious about change. Not to say I adapt badly to change, but mainly that I fear change ("We fear change" in the wise words of Garth Algar, Wayne's World 1). Change can be really good but at the same time can domino effect other changes that may not be so desireble. I wish I could go into detail but really, whoever is reading this is probably some middle aged man from Wisconsin jacking off to the fact that I'm about to write: VAGINA. I have no doubt that I may come back a different person after seeing and experiencing other places and that is totally awesome. I guess I'm just being pussy and worrying in the back of my mind that when I come back no one will remember me, friendships will be altered, bonds broken, that kind of thing. Call me a pessimist but I guess that's just an outgrowth of social paranoia. Oh well. I mean, if no one remembers me or disowns me as a friend I can just taunt them with candy or assume an entirely new identity. i.e. a chinese girl who thinks she is from Africa and only makes clicking sounds and only goes by the name of Manicotta cheese.

But I guess it's that kind of negative thinking that affects how you view life in general and who gets by always worrying about shit? I'm just gonna go with the flow, and if the flow takes me down the shithole, then hopefully I won't be alone, or at least I'll have a surfboard so I can ride the waves of poo. Yeah, the sun came up, that's my only explanation for that one.

Well anyway, just wanted to update this shit. It's no lyrical masterpiece nor is it interesting, but I guess it eased the mind just that much less. I wonder if anyone is annoyed that Im typing so loud in here. I wonder why anyone is actually here (note: time is 6:07am...only hobos and vampires are out at this time). Over and out.

 
I love Las Vegas

 
Turn the meat...up!

 
So I'm pretty much staring at the blank screen while the cursor is yelling at me to type something of even a tiny bit of interest or importance and I realize...well shit, why do I always have to write about something that people will want to read? Wait, who the hell is reading this anyway? I could probably say cock, balls, fuck, shit monkey rim job and I will just laugh all to myself in my little corner. Oh well, even if it's some 64 year old leathery skinned liver spotted man out to get a fix, touching himself to the mere word "Moist", I gotta keep the entertainment value at somewhat of a standard.

 
It's amazing how your life can suddenly change in the course of week, even like 24 hours. It's kind of like when you power slide right into a box with a question mark except instead of an item (ie. a cool turtle shell) you blow up. I love Mario Kart.

Go Team Toad Gloves.

 
I would just like to share these beautiful tokens of wisdom (SO funny), otherwise known as Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey:

#251: I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist: "You know what will save the world? You're holding it in your hand." And the other scientist looks, and in his hand are some peanuts. Then, when he looks up, the first scientist is being taken away to the insane asylum.

#426: I only played hooky one time, so I'll never forget it. I hid in the bushes right outside my classroom. And since the window was open, I could hear the teacher, so I went ahead and took notes. When the teacher asked a question, I raided my hand, but she couldn't see me.

#13: If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.


#133: When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, "Why you stupid, stupid bastard!" Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life.

#60: You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

#76: If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.

#328: One time I don't think you should listen to your body is when it says "I'm dead."

#74: I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy - something like that.

#6: Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

#150: Of all the warning sounds that animals make, I think the one that's the least effective on me is a kind of clicking noise.


#390: Once, when I got lost in the woods, I was afraid that eventually I might have to eat Tippy. But finally I found my way home, and I was able to put Tippy back in the refrigerator with my other sandwiches.


#223: If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn't get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

 
Hmm...it's been a whole month since I last wrote in here and sadly, and I mean very sadly I don't really have anything new or exciting to write about ie. divorces, cock fights, gential mutilation stories. Oh wait I do... The other day I totally chipped my tooth and I got scared because it was huge. The lame part is that I didn't chip it like in a street brawl, wrestling alligators or slamming my face into a tree during extreme speed skating or something, I was eating a sandwich and my teeth grinded together. Wow, i'm awesome. So one night i was flossing and this big ass chunk of tooth popped up, in which I proceeded to crap slowly in my pants. I called my parents and told them it wa slik 1/4 of my tooth but it was like an 1/8 and it turns out it was only a filling and now I have to get two cavities filled. Woop dee doo. School started this week and as usual my classes are fairly crappy and boring. Monday is pretty much hell because I go to school from like 9 till 7pm. Is that legal? Should I be notifying some sort of human rights organization? Well anyway, the only thing that I am really looking forward to is my sex class. It's called Sociology 69: Sociology of Sex (how fitting, eh). I was hoping for there to be labs or interactive sex training but I guess discussion will have to do. I'm quitting school and becoming a sexologist, that'd be awesome. K, i'm lazy, bye.

 
Hey, look at the time! I'm delirious~ WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! The snozberries taste like snozberries.